so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
