Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
