I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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