You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just pynch a tree in the face
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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