I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He has the fingertips of a God
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
