Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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