You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
