Nicole vs. Life
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
