Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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