im six kinds of drunk right now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize