Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
