You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
