I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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