closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why is your signature on my underwear?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
