well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
