I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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