based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
