Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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