if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
