some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love you.
Bad choice
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