I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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