we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
