I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
