Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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