The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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