did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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