it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
