do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
