Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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