how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
