Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's always time for handjobs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
