his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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