this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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