Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
