That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
