You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was confusing and full of hummus
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
