everyone is single if you try hard enough
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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