girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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