I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
