Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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