Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize