Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
