She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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