I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
