With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
