There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
