her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think people are normalizing furries
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize