you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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