im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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