Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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