Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she smelled like a LAN party
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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