walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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