My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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