my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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