nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
